“Listen to the band that playing just for me
Listen to the people paying just for me
All the aplause and all the praise
and lot of money I had madeoh, it´s lonely at the top
(The Divine Comedy “Lonely at the top”)
—
Nine months ago, one of my clients ascended to the role of COO, a position she hadn’t initially envisioned as a career opening. Both thrilled and worried, she thought twice before accepting this new challenge.
No regret. She loves it. She loves the strategic thinking it implies, energizing teams and making a difference on the companies results and how she can empower other women. And she proudly set her boundaries to protect her invaluable time with her kids and with her partner.
Yet, she told me how the dynamics shifted straight after the announcement was made:
“Former lunchmates became my subordinates, most of them distancing themselves. On the other side, people who were reluctant to support me in my early days now knock at my door, and offer to have lunch. This sounds so fake!
Others openly tell me I am here not because of my skills but simply because I am a woman and it won’t take long before they take over my role. Competition is fierce and jealousy appears with a very bad face.
I am lacking authentic relationships and internally I feel there is no one I could turn to. I am not candid. I know the rules of this game. But I underestimated that it feels so lonely at the top.”
As we started exploring this feeling of loneliness, she drew the sacred circle she would like to belong to. A kind space where she is not the COO or the mother or the spouse, a place where she can be herself fully with people being themselves fully.
And one bold step at a time she is building this circle. Many attempts. Many failures. And many opportunities for her to learn and grow.
Unable to adhere to a gym schedule, she bonded with 4 other women, hiring a private Pilates coach for early morning workouts.
Rejecting the confines of a “women-only” club, she aimed for diverse networking and expanded her presence at European events for her industry, building meaningful connections.
And she blocks her family holiday time well in advance. No matter what.
She acknowledges life is a rollercoaster, and she courageously reframes failure as a catalyst for growth. Even if this is hard.
Did she overcome this feeling of loneliness? No. But she keeps moving forward despite it.
Any tip?
Be brave.
Love
Delphine
#TheCourageofBeing